Choosing A Title For Your Future Bestseller

Whatz-ya-dook-si-dook!!! (Go on, say that out loud. A random person near you may give you FREE cash because I've programmed that phrase to do so. If not, then you probably didn't pronounce it properly.)

It's been almost a month since my last (technically first) blog post and today, I'm going to need your help. No, I will not be asking you for $10,000 to replace the stolen gold doorhandles in my Nigerian mansion. Nor will I ask you to sign a petition to bring Sean Connery out of retirement for a sequel to Zardoz. What's Zardoz? Did you really just ask that? Well, this is all you need to know about Zardoz, sorry, this is all you need to see:

And this quote from a user review from IMDB sums up this Sean Connery 70s sci-fi classic perfectly:

Red man-panties, gun-vomiting hot air balloon stone heads, flying books on fishing line, neat-o dance numbers (or at least ballroom catharsis), magic marker facial hair, elitist-hippie government, inexplicable backward-masking (check out Friend in the kitchen), the ugliest bride in the history of cinema, cool jewelry, the Internet before the Internet was the Internet (or even computerized), Big Brother, HAL, and David Niven merged into one, lots of flowy sheer curtains, EXCELLENT decorating ideas, nifty forms of mass transit, a profound sense of anatomy, and, perhaps most chillingly, an apocalyptic warning that, if we do not change our ways, we face a future COMPLETELY DEVOID OF UNDERGARMENTS.

Genius. Simply genius.

Okay, eyes back down here please. When I'm not spending precious time watching Sean Connery running around in over-the-knee-high boots or wondering if ants can take over the world, I'm actually busy writing a novel.

Here's a brief description of my novel:

Roger Rockman just bought a video camera and he's NOT happy. It's not functioning the way he expects it to, so it's time to return the camera and get a refund.

Like some things in life, it won't be easy.

His quest to get a simple refund takes him on a wild ride that will change his world and the world around him.

Writing it has been an absolute joy, the only thing I can't decide on is an eye-catching title.

Currently, the working title is simply, 'Refund'. Actually, I have two, the other is 'I Want My Refund'.

Now those titles aren't that spizzy nizz-nack (flashy and fancy) so that's where you, the reader comes in. With your incredible mind and experience of buying books yourself, I'm going to ask you to vote in the poll below.

Which book title would you pick up and buy?

If you think all those titles I listed are dreadful, then please suggest another title in the Comments section below. Any suggestions are welcome and it doesn't even have to include the word refund in it. And thank you for your help, it's greatly appreciated. :) Woos-shhooo-sugger-tuk-tuk!

TOTALLY UNRELATED 

I just had a fantastic time eating an apple at around 10:11PM. Is it weird to eat apples at night? It had never occurred to me if people were self-conscious about eating apples at nighttime. Anyway, that's it for today. 

Thanks for reading!

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Until next time, something wonderful awaits!