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MOVIE REVIEW: The Conjuring

Hi everyone! I watched The Conjuring about a month ago, so why am I writing about it now? Well, I had my first supernatural/ghostly experience the other day while watching The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones. I also managed to contemplate killing my neighbors with a nuclear bomb in this review.


This was my reaction after finding out they had cast Ben Affleck as the new Batman.
Some have claimed that this is one of the scariest movies ever made—sure, it definitely has a few frightening moments of "Oh-shit! Did I really just literally jump out of my seat?"—but overall, it doesn't possess that disturbing and psychological current found in something like The Exorcist where the scare factor just shoots right off the screen and infects your mind with terrifying thoughts and images that keep you up all night.

In saying that, there are also one or two genuine moments of terror that will definitely leave you thinking that if your house became haunted, not only would you move out right awayyou would also demolish the house

Actually, let's take it one step further. If my house became haunted, I would nuke the whole fucking block with the biggest bomb I could find. Sure, there will be casualties, but I'm sure my neighbors would understand—I would.

Don't turn around!!!
If I found out one of my neighbors' house is haunted and he/she has to nuke the whole area immediately—leaving me no time to escape—I would simply give my neighbor a hug and tell him/her, "I understand. Do what you have to do."

Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Helpless Character: Help us! Our house is haunted!
Operator: hang in there, help is on the way. You'll be just fine.

Operator hangs up and dials The White House.

Operator: Mr. President, a nuclear warhead is needed at a remote house in the middle of nowhere.
Barack Obama: Is it the Russians? Iranians?
Operator: No, Mr. President. It is a ghost.
Barack Obama: Ah! I understand.
Yes, there are parts of this movie that are soooo frightening that you would seriously consider dropping a bomb just to get rid of a ghost. You're probably thinking, "Wait a minute, would a ghost even die from an atom bomb since it lives in another realm?" Probably not, but at least we tried didn't we? (at the expense of innocent lives) Plus, it's not just about getting rid of the ghostbecause by killing my neighbors, I'll have saved them from crapping their pants.

Shit your pants and have endless nights of terror or die from an atom bomb? My neighbors, you must choose wisely (Hint: I would choose the latter, trust me.)

Or if you want to experience true horror without watching The Conjuring, then nothing can beat the sheer terror of Clint Howard:

Clint Howard, scaring humans since 1959.
MY RATING: 8 out of 10

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Until next time, something wonderful awaits!

MOVIE REVIEW: The Conjuring Reviewed by Unknown on 21:28 Rating: 5
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